Rural life governance is a complex process of mutual construction between the downward extension of state governance modernization and the autonomy of local rural society. The identification and adjustment of its underlying tensions are the key prerequisites for enhancing the effectiveness of rural revitalization. This paper constructs a resilience model of everyday-life order， and builds an analytical framework from three dimensions： space， norms， and actors to reveal the main characteristics of the modernization of rural life governance. It further analyzes the spatial tension whereby the expansion of the public domain crowds out the flexibility of the private domain， the normative tension whereby the rigidity of modern institutions erodes the resilience of traditional ethics， and actor-related tensions whereby administrative absorption substitutes for villagers’ participation in the practice of modernization of life governance. To effectively mediate the tensions in the modernization of rural life governance， it is necessary to identify the threshold of public and private domains through layered governance， integrate national policies with local knowledge through institutional integration， and transform individual rationality into collective action through actor empowerment.